


You're Still Here

by Masdevallia



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Falling In Love, Mutual Pining, Racism, Rejection, Religion, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Ultra Rarepair Big Bang (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), background Ashe/Annette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:12:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26290180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masdevallia/pseuds/Masdevallia
Summary: When Mercedes and Dedue meet through Annette in a greenhouse, sparks fly and they become friends, but self doubt gets in the way before they can act on their feelings. Some time later, unexpected circumstances bring them together, giving them another chance.
Relationships: Mercedes von Martritz/Dedue Molinaro
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34
Collections: 2020 Ultra Rarepair Big Bang





	You're Still Here

**Author's Note:**

> I had the opportunity to work on one of my favorite fe OTPS for the first time. My partner artist is @ayanthos and she drew this incredibly amazing piece of Dedue being a total sweetheart and I die at Annie's reaction!
> 
> Link here: https://twitter.com/ayanthos/status/1301979707047641088?s=20

Every day at precisely 4:15 in the afternoon, Mercedes von Martritz and her best friend and roommate, Annette Dominic had a dance party, only meant for the two of them. 

It was, at first, means for them to celebrate another tough day having been over and was something silly enough for them to bond over. 

Annette was boisterous, always bursting with energy. Mercedes, on the other hand, did not like exercise and repetitive movement, but this...this felt different. It didn’t feel forced and the music they played for each other was different each and every time, with both girls picking what song they wanted to dance to. 

Today was Mercedes’s turn. 

Annette was unpredictable in her tastes. Sometimes, she went with bubblegum pop and would oftentimes try to dance and sing at the same time. Mercedes had to keep watch on her because it often led to Annette losing her breath and crashing into a nearby object, even though they had cleared their space of any objects they could have tripped over.

Mercedes preferred slower pieces, and today, she was in the mood for classical. 

And so they pretended to be ballerinas. 

She would often do this when her and Emile were little, with Emile lifting and holding Mercedes into position. With Annette, it had to be the opposite (and they would inevitably fail at it, but the important thing was that they _tried_ ). 

Yet, it was still a bright part of her day. 

After they were done, Annette kept jumping around. Mercedes was already tired. 

“You’re still jumping, Annie, did something happen today?”

Annie’s grin turned wider. “Oooh you know me so well, Mercie! My thesis got approved!”

“My goodness, Annie, that’s wonderful!” She wondered why Annie didn’t tell her earlier. She would have given her the choice to pick a song. 

“Ooh, I wanted to tell you over yogurt, but I can’t hold it in any longer!”

Mercedes couldn’t believe she was able to keep it in for this long, actually. Her tired body now felt rejuvenated at the idea of going for yogurt. 

“I like that idea, Annie. Let’s have some yogurt. My treat!” Mercedes would surely bake something for her this weekend. Perhaps a scone, no maybe muffins. She had plenty of recipes passed down from her father, it wouldn’t be a problem. Mercedes looked forward to it.

Whenever Mercedes and Annette got frozen yogurt, Mercedes found herself amused by their choices. Mercedes typically went with a base flavor of yogurt (today’s had been salted caramel) and focused on the toppings to complement whatever flavor she had chosen. 

Annette on the other hand, had always picked a variety of flavors (usually half of what was available) and added even more toppings. This time she added strawberry and what looked like pink cotton candy to match with her overalls. Mercedes was partially concerned for her dear friend, since Annie would always talk and talk while the yogurt melted and turned to an unnameable goop. Yet when that happened, Annie never complained. Yet right now, she had a frown on her face. Even though it had seemingly come out of nowhere, Mercedes knew there was only one topic that brought her best friend down.

“Do you think my dad would be proud of me?” Annette asked all of a sudden while on their walk across campus. Mercedes knew all about Annie’s...complicated relationship with her father. Mercedes on the other hand, didn’t even know her father since he died when she was an infant. In a way, it was still painful not knowing him, and knowing all of the stories her mother told of her father. Mercedes was able to make a character up in her head, but it would never be enough. Pain often took different forms. But Annie’s father was more willful in nature, more intent. Mercedes’s father _had_ intended to raise her. Annie’s father had walked out.

“Of course he would be. And if he wouldn’t be, then I’m proud of you! Always, Annie! You worked so hard to get your thesis approved.”

Mercedes didn’t really have to worry about that sort of thing. They had often joked that Annette would find the cures to illnesses and Mercedes would distribute them. They would always be a team. 

Annette’s frown went away. “I’m so glad I have you, Mercie! Do you want to go to the greenhouse? The flower in which I’m studying is located right there!” Annette pointed to a greenhouse that was located a few paces away. 

Mercedes loved flowers, and although she liked being indoors reading stories and textbooks, working on a knitting project, and baking, she had always forgotten their school had a large greenhouse. Then again, Mercedes was prone to forgetting about a lot of things. 

“Ah I’m so excited!” Annie said when they walked in. 

The greenhouse was mostly empty of people. Most people liked to visit during the brighter hours of the day, and already the sky was beginning to darken. There were flowers of all kinds here. 

Now, Mercedes was _really_ starting to regret not visiting the greenhouse earlier.

Annette had shown her the flower she had claimed had potential physical properties that correlated with her hypothesis. Annette was incredibly smart, but sometimes her knowledge went over Mercedes’s head, especially when she started going off about the more intricate sciences and mathematics involved. 

She knew if Annie’s heart was in the right place, she could do anything. 

As for Mercedes herself, all she wanted was…

“Oh hey Dedue!” Annie said, waving to a tall figure watering a section full of lavenders. “It’s good to see you again!” Annette had grabbed her hand and brought them closer to the stranger Annette had known.

“Good evening, Annette. I see you brought a friend here.”

When they had gotten up close to him, he was incredibly tall. Mercedes was always told that she was tall, but it was a rare sight to see someone that tall. The man had a kind face, with teal eyes, yet he appeared to be frowning. She wondered why that was the case. He was actually quite handsome. Really handsome.

“I’m Mercedes von Martritz. Annie’s best friend!”

She was relieved to see his frown had faded away. “Annette talks about you often. I am pleased to meet you.”

Annette’s hands squeezed her hand even harder. Mercedes had forgotten they were holding hands. 

“Are you a volunteer here?”

“I am.”

“It’s nice to finally visit the garden. Annie says she’s going to be here much more often now that her thesis has been approved.” Mercedes couldn’t help but smile at him. 

“I’ll totally drag Mercie here. She likes lavenders. Our apartment smells like them all the time.”

Mercedes generally used incense or potpourri but it had never compared to the real thing. 

“Then please,” he snipped a flower with his gloved hands. “Take one with you.”

She found herself touched by the gesture as she let go of Annie’s hand and accepted the flower. “Oh my! Thank you so much!” She felt herself going red at the unexpected gesture.

“It is no problem at all, Mercedes,” he said. The way he said her name made her blush even harder. 

“It was so very nice meeting you, Dedue! I hope to see you again!”

Annette had danced around circles around Mercedes in the growing darkness. “Ooh I think he likes you! And you like him!” she said in a singsong tone, as she was prone to doing. 

“Annie! We only just met!”

She snorted. “Okay, so? Love at first sight is a thing, you know! I’ve known him for months and he’s never given _me_ a flower.”

“I think it’s because you work here, too, right?”

Annette began to smile wider. “You two are gonna date and then get married and then...then!”

“Annie!” It was impossible to know if Annette was dead serious or teasing during certain instances. This was one of them.

She had only known Dedue for the equivalent of fifteen minutes. But he certainly looked like he could at least be a friend.

But one thing was for certain. She had resolved to come visit the gardens more often. She would now most definitely make time for it. She wouldn’t forget to anymore. 

***

The next time Mercedes visited the greenhouse, it had been a conscious effort on her part. 

She had gone alone and had made sure to bring some extra muffins she made to celebrate Annette’s success. 

The downside to her thesis being accepted was that Annie would now have to spend even more time working. Mercedes was already concerned for her lack of sleep. Annette always had a tendency to overwork herself. Already, their dance sessions only happened twice in the week since her announcement, compared to it being a daily ritual. 

Mercedes had felt her face instinctually smile when she saw Dedue’s distinct, tall form cutting the thorns of a rosebush. She made sure to make herself known. She didn’t want him cutting himself by accident because of her. “Excuse me,” she said. 

Dedue turned around. “Mercedes,” he said, as though he were expecting her. Or maybe she had been expecting things too much.

“Good afternoon. Or is it evening?” she said, giggling.

“Both, I suppose,” he said. 

Mercedes had found herself thinking of all of the ways she could make conversation with him over the week since they had met. And then she remembered she had a basket of sugary confections. “I baked these. They were to celebrate Annie’s thesis, but I also wanted to make some for you.”

Dedue’s face appeared to go blank in a way she didn’t expect. 

Did he not like sweets?

“Oh I’m sorry. If you don’t like sweets, I can make something else for you!”

Dedue composed himself. “Forgive me. I did not expect...No one’s…” 

She lifted the basket while Dedue took off a glove. “These muffins are quite excellent, Mercedes.” She had hoped he wanted seconds.

“Thank you! I’m glad you appreciate them! It’s a secret Martritz family recipe that’s been passed down for generations!” They had walked around the greenhouse talking. After those few awkward moments, it had become easier to talk to him. 

“I ought to close up the greenhouse,” he said, when it had gotten dark. 

“Are you in here often?” she asked.

“On most days around this time. I study botany.”

“That’s plant studies! Of course a botanist would be there all the time,” she said, giggling. “Do you want to be a scientist?”

Dedue had paused. “A horticulturalist, actually. But after my sister passed, agriculture or landscaping are a better fit.”

“I’m sorry about your sister. Surely, the Goddess is watching over her.”

“The Fódlan Goddess does such things?” he asked. 

Mercedes was confused. She had never really met anyone who didn’t know of their beliefs. And then it had hit her. “You’re not from Fódlan.” She had felt silly for not realizing it earlier.

Dedue had appeared shocked by her admission.

“You’re from Duscur.”

He slowly nodded. “Duscur has a very different view of religion.”

Mercedes wasn’t familiar with Duscur at all. In fact, there were few texts about them to begin with. She felt herself growing more and more interested as they left the greenhouse and walked in the park. 

Dedue began, “In Duscur, there were many gods. The sky had a god. The earth had a god. We made offerings to the war god for victory in battle. Held feasts for the sea god to calm the waves.”

Mercedes found this fascinating. Polytheism wasn’t something she had ever encountered. In fact, Seiros’s texts all said the worship of more than one God was forbidden. She wanted to know more. The topic of religion was so inherently fascinating to her. “So your people prayed to different gods depending on what they needed?

“Correct.”

“Your beliefs sound so different from ours! Tell me more.”

“You are perhaps the first person I’ve met who is interested in learning more about Duscur.”

That didn’t answer her question. 

“Please?” she asked. “I’d like to know.”

“Why? Duscur is in ruin.” She had known about what happened all those years ago to his homeland. 

“Duscur may be gone, but you’re still here. Would you tell me more about it the next time we meet?” She could tell the conversation would have to be shelved for another time. It was her fault. She had gone in too fast and made him uncomfortable. She did not mean to do it.

“If you insist.”

Mercedes clasped her hands together. “Really? That would be great! I’m looking forward to hearing more soon. I’d like to know you better.”

“Why?” he asked. 

“Why? You’re Annie’s friend, aren’t you? Any friend of Annie’s is a friend of mine.”

“Then perhaps we can exchange our phone numbers,” he said. 

“I’d like that! Let’s be friends!”

***

Dedue Molinaro had always pretended to be unfazed. That was his life. He didn’t need to mull around the people who mistreated him, but focus on the ones who had instead shown kindness to him. 

It was to the point where he felt it was undeserved at times, but he wanted that kindness, and to extend it in turn.

First it was with Dimitri, who was his best friend and protector. Their relationship was mutual in that regard. 

Annette had been a kind soul, who liked to sing and dance and chatter. 

But Mercedes...She was also kind, and curious and beautiful. Dedue wasn’t a man of impulses, but something about her had captured him the first time they met. He had given her the lavender almost absentmindedly. He could hear Annette’s playful teasing outside of the greenhouse after.

She too, had gone through various troubles in her life and wasn’t afraid to say so. He had talked to Dimitri all the time and had small, friendly surface level conversations with Annette, but it was different with Mercedes, who wanted to be his friend. 

She had an interest in knowing about his homeland, but also about him, with small things such as how he became interested in gardening and flowers or how he picked up cooking. Their friendship had formed quickly and easily.

A part of him wanted to say no to her, that it wasn’t a good idea for her to seek out his company. He didn’t want Mercedes to risk being seen in any kind of negative way, even if he was only her friend.

But he just _couldn’t_ say no to her when she had invited him to go out to watch a movie. 

She had insisted upon watching it at midnight, or at least, as close as possible to it. It was an unconventional time, sure, but Dedue wondered why she would like to go to the theater on a weekday. 

Each time he saw her, he couldn’t help but feel his heart beginning to race at the sight of her. She had a side plait and was wearing a light brown dress. It was simple, but she had made it look grand, elegant, even. He wondered how she could pull that off so effortlessly.

“I have forgotten to ask,” he began, “but what movie are we watching?”

“Oh! I forgot to tell you!” she said laughing. “It’s a horror movie about ghosts!”

Dedue wasn’t sure how he felt about horror movies. He wasn’t one to sit down and watch movies. “Do you like this genre?”

Mercedes smiled. “I love ghost stories! I used to tell them to my brother all the time. I think ghost stories and the like are things that should be shared with each other. Annie doesn’t like them very much, so I asked you!”

He felt...flattered by this. 

Yet as they moved in the small line, he saw the people staring at them. Dedue knew he stood out like a sore thumb here in Fódlan. He was far taller and bigger than everyone else here, his hair was silver, his skin dark. He didn’t want others to talk about Mercedes in the same vicious breath as they did about him. A part of him was conscious about the fact that he had walls put up, and how Mercedes easily knocked them down with just a single sentence or a smile. Dedue saw that his reactions to her were not conscious and in a way, he was terrified of this.

“I am not as familiar with the genre.”

“It’s going to be so much fun, then!”

Mercedes had insisted on getting the largest bag of popcorn for them, and she wanted to share it with him once the previews came on. “We need to be careful,” she said, “we can’t eat the whole bag before the movie starts!” She grabbed a single popcorn and popped it into her mouth. 

“Then, may I? If only to enjoy the experience more.” he took the bowl and set it away from her, as tempting as it was. 

“Oh, Dedue, thank you!” He had placed the bowl between them when the starting credits began to play.

The movie was...odd, to say the least. It was about a family being haunted by ghosts in their estate. It seemed really by-the-book, except the movie had a focus on the tempestuous relationship between the mother and daughter. The daughter could see the ghosts, while the mother was a skeptic. 

Yet all the while when Dedue snuck glances at Mercedes, she was beaming whenever the ghosts appeared, or during the really creepy scenes. It wasn’t his cup of tea, but he enjoyed seeing her reactions to these scenes. It was rather jarring to see someone as kind as Mercedes to show this side, but it had only added to her charm. 

Dedue’s interest in the movie only began once the twist was revealed at the very end of the movie, where the family themselves were the ghosts and the “ghosts” were of the living. It had made the movie all the more watchable. 

Mercedes had gasped when that happened. “Of course! It all makes sense now!” he heard her say.

She was glowing after the movie had ended and they walked together in the stillness of the night. He had driven them to the theater. “Did you like it?” she asked, her voice expectant as they walked to the parking lot. 

“I felt the movie was perhaps slow at times,” he said as they located his truck. “It is worth seeing again having the twist in mind.”

“I had briefly considered it, you know. I was completely fooled for a time, there too!”

Mercedes had talked about the movie at length. Apparently it had scored well with critics, although he never really followed one or the other. 

He had parked the car in front of her apartment complex a few minutes later. Mercedes’s hand found Dedue’s. He felt his heart beating, practically thumping out of his chest. Mercedes was only being her usual kind self. She always held hands with Annette when they were together. They were friends. “Thank you for going with me to the movies. I had a lot of fun.”

“So did I,” he said. “Thank you for thinking of me.”

Mercedes giggled. “Of course I thought of you. You’re a wonderful friend to have, Dedue!” Her hand did not leave his. 

“You are a good friend as well, Mercedes. Goodnight. I hope you will have a good night’s rest.” 

“I always sleep well after watching a good ghost story! Don’t worry about me!” But Mercedes did not leave. “Do you want to watch the movie again? Not tonight or tomorrow, but perhaps soon.” 

“I’d like that,” he said. He moved his hand so that it could be held better. It was so much smaller compared to his, yet she had an undeniable strength. Their fingers laced. 

“Maybe we can have dinner together before then. Annie’s never around these days but I’d love to have you over!”

Going out to the movies was a pleasant experience. It didn’t allow others to watch him or judge Mercedes for wanting to hang out with him. 

Once again, he had reminded himself of Mercedes’s uncanny ability to seize through him so easily and how he was able to respond in kind. 

Which was why he had found himself on the receiving end--or was it giving end?-- of a kiss. 

The moment had arrived with little warning, of little thought. 

Mercedes was soft all over, her mouth was just as he had expected, just as he hoped during a careless moment after they had met when he overheard Annette’s teasing. Her hand against his was reassuring, as if he was meant to be here with her in this truck, at this very moment in time. As if everything had fallen into place. It was an affirmation. That the attraction he had felt was very much reciprocated, and not just some kind of unrequited fantasy. It was so easy for him to believe it would be unrequited. That was the norm in his life, as someone who was rejected by society. 

Both of them had equally broken their kiss, her eyes fluttering open, and it was such a beautiful shade of dark blue, only amplified by her dark lashes. 

It was then when he realized how his heartbeat had quickened, gone into a state where he couldn’t slow it down, the butterflies flying in his stomach and all the effects she created. 

_But this is a terrible idea_ , he thought. He couldn’t subject her to the burdens of being with him. Even though they were at someplace public like a movie theater, he was being watched and judged, and Mercedes did not deserve such treatment.

“But why?” she asked. 

He had spoken his thoughts aloud. “Mercedes...Forgive me.” He was at a loss for words. “This cannot happen.”

She didn’t appear heartbroken or hurt by his words. “I see. I...see.”

Dedue let go of his hand. “It’s late. You ought to go now.”

“Goodnight, Dedue. May you have a peaceful evening.” 

It was then when he noticed her inflection was slightly off. 

He tried not to think about it, or her during the rest of his ride home, otherwise he would relent. Mercedes couldn’t get hurt because of him. He wouldn’t ever allow it to happen. This was the only way.

* * *

Today had been a busy day at the hospital where Mercedes worked. Even though she was in the middle of her residency, she still faced what seemed like an endless workload during shifts that were twice as long as any person’s usual day job. 

Even though she was tired, she loved what she did if it meant helping others. The Goddess said that everyone had their places in life, and in her research, the Duscran Gods had assigned roles. Each day, she had prayed to the Goddess and the Duscran deities for others, and for herself to do the best she could to uphold her need to help others. Even though Dedue wasn’t a part of her life anymore, both him and his culture were still on her mind.

She was on the tailend of a fifteen minute break, enjoying her can of Ailell Iced Tea when it had happened. 

“Mercedes, we need you right now,” her supervisor said. Mercedes wasn’t one to say no to her superiors, especially since she wanted a smooth transition to being a proper nurse.

Mercedes threw what little contents remained in the can into the trash and followed her supervisor. She could sense things were hectic today, since there were many colleagues running around the floor, in a frantic haze. 

“Is something the matter?” Mercedes asked. 

“A high profile patient has arrived in our hospital. You won’t be attending to him. You will assist us with the patient that came with him.”

“Oh, alright,” Mercedes said. She was ready to help her supervisor in any way possible. 

Except she had stopped in her tracks when she saw the person laying in the hospital bed. 

It was Dedue Molinaro, who she had not seen since she was studying. How long ago was it? A year? Two? 

She held in a breath as she saw the injuries he sustained all over his face in cuts that would need to be stitched. She exhaled, remembering she needed to get ready to put on her gloves, gather her supplies, and attend to him. As a nurse she would need to put any personal feelings aside. It wasn’t unprofessional per se to care for someone you knew, but it was an exceedingly busy day. 

Dedue’s eyes fluttered, his vision locked on hers as she took his vitals. “Mer…”

“It’s okay. You need to rest now. It’ll all be alright!” she said. His injuries weren’t life threatening or anything of the sort and her bedside manner was considered to be one of the better ones. 

Mercedes attended to him as he passed out. 

After his stitches were placed, her supervisor had turned to her. “Do you know this man?”

“We are, er, um, we’re friends,” Mercedes said. 

After their date slash not-date, he stopped replying to her texts and avoided her altogether. Mercedes had wondered if she had been too persistent, but she wanted to give him space. Sometimes you liked someone and that person liked you back, but wasn’t ready. Mercedes would never force anyone into anything. But she still wanted to be Dedue’s friend, despite him shutting her out.

Dedue was in stable condition, resting. 

“I’m sorry, but I have to go, Dedue,” she said to his sleeping form. “But I’ll be back, I promise!”

Usually when her shifts ended, she would go straight home and eat one of her stockpile of pastries. She had always brought her own food straight from home, because there weren’t good things to say about hospital food. Even the chocolate chip cookies were kind of awful to taste. 

But today, she went to Dedue’s bedside.

He was awake. 

“It’s you,” he said, visibly stunned. 

“Hello, Dedue. Do you want a cookie? I made these myself!”

He carefully grabbed one, slowly eating it. While doing so, he was taking her in. To be honest, so was she with him. His hard had grown out a little more, but shorn at the sides. He was still attractive to her. She wondered if he thought the same.

“You look well,” he said after finishing the cookie.

“I do?” Mercedes asked. It wasn’t what many people had agreed on. Mercedes had put on some weight in the past year or so, and was often told that wasn’t a good look for her. That, and her cutting her hair short weren’t seen as pretty or feminine, yet she felt her short hair fit her well. It was certainly helpful for her job, especially if she needed to cover up.

Mercedes didn’t like to exercise and her job pretty much solidified her one area of activity, the daily dances she would have with Annette, were null and void. It was something she occasionally felt self conscious about, even with her own relatives (mostly Emile’s relatives), who prattled on about it. But Dedue didn’t seem to see it as an issue.

Dedue nodded. His hand had found hers. Mercedes felt that familiar flutter in her stomach open up again, as though they were never truly gone. “I am glad to see you again, and that you are working in what you wanted.”

“Did you...did you ever get to finishing your degree?”

He frowned, yet it had faded only slightly when she offered him another cookie. This one was oatmeal raisin. He let go of his hand. “In a sense. But Dimitri...oh no.”

Mercedes was not at liberty to discuss what happened to his friend. All she knew was that he had lost an eye in the accident, but even though Dedue was her friend, she couldn’t tell him that. “He’s alive,” she said. “If that’s what you’re wondering.”

He breathed in a sigh of relief. 

She offered him yet another pastry, this time a chocolate puff. 

“Are you certain, Mercedes?” he asked. 

“Of course! You’re my friend. And I have plenty at home!”

She saw Dedue had turned away, concealing a blush. She knew that they would have much to talk about. 

“I didn’t think we’d meet again under such circumstances, but in a way, it’s a relief to see you.” Dedue opened his mouth, then closed it again. “You don’t need to say anything anymore. I just wanted to pay you a visit and tell you everything is alright now.”

She left his bedside not longer after that and went home, thinking of how she never expected to see Dedue in these unexpected circumstances. She also began to bake more pastries for him.

She left Annie a message. **Annie! I stumbled upon Dedue today.**

Annie responded about ten minutes later. **Mercie!!! What!!! Oh my gosh!!!**

**I’m surprised, too! He’s injured but he’ll be alright.**

**Ahhhhhhhh!!! I’m so sorry!!!!!! Is he going to be alright??? How was he???** Then she sent another barrage of texts. **Ahh you said he’s fine I didn’t read!!!!!!! Ooooh I wanna visit him but I’m *so* busy! Even Ashe points out how busy I am and he’s more patient than, I don’t know, one of those Saint guys oooo I can’t remember any of their names right now!!!**

**I’ll say hi for you!**

**Thank you, Mercie! Love you!**

Dedue had quickly recovered. It didn’t take much for him to be hurt, although his presence in the hospital was another story entirely. He would often be with his friend, but Mercedes saw him in the small room that served as a hospital chapel. He was kneeling.

“Are you praying to the Duscran Gods?” she asked him. 

“No,” he said. “I am praying to the Fódlan Goddess.”

Mercedes had joined him in kneeling. “Maybe if we can combine both our prayers to the Gods, they can be reached.”

Dedue had the ghost of a smile on his face. “If it pleases them, we can try.”

They knelt in silence. 

“After my sister died. I would do this.”

“Pray?”

“Yes. It is hard to believe, but in those days I would pray to whoever would hear my prayers. I would ask them if they could find someone…” he trailed off. 

Mercedes did not seek to push him, for he was already stressed. “I understand. Sometimes, it’s all you can do.”

“I began to do the things she liked. Cooking, gardening. She would have wanted me to landscape in Duscur. To create beautiful gardens, in the way she loved.”

“That sounds like a splendid idea,” she said. Dedue had brought up his sister before, when they interacted more often, but always cut the conversation short. She supposed it was similar in a sense as to when the topic of Emile was brought up and their forced separation. 

But Emile was still alive. Dedue’s sister was not.

“Mercedes…” he said, sounding determined. 

“Dedue, you should focus on your friend,” she replied, not wanting him to add onto needless stress. “Once your friend recovers, you can talk about anything else that’s on your mind.” She rose. She needed to get back to her shift. “I promise, we can talk about anything you’d like once your mind clears.”

Annette had time to hang out with her once her shift had ended a few days after her last encounter with Dedue. Their schedules had become virtually incompatible, plus, Annette had found herself a boyfriend in the interim named Ashe. 

He was a sweet boy, close to Annie’s age, and when Annette introduced Ashe to Mercedes, she saw how wonderful they were together. Annie deserved someone like him, even though a small part of her wished for something similar as well. 

Ashe was an excellent cook, having made food for his younger siblings and made a vegetable pasta salad for the three of them. 

“You should have brought Dedue with you!”Annette said. 

“Dedue?” Ashe asked from the kitchen. “Is that a friend of yours?”

“Oh, I didn't know if you would have wanted another person.” Mercedes never brought other people over, especially since she had become so busy in recent months. Her social life was basically just Annie and Ashe. Sometimes Emile if he ever had time himself.

“Of course we’d like to hang out! You should ask him! Plus, I think he and Ashe could be really good friends.” Mercedes peered over to where Ashe stood in the kitchen, a blush on his face.

Mercedes had taken out her phone and asked Dedue if he was busy and wanted to come over to Annette’s house. This was a stress-free environment and she thought Dedue could use that for a nice change.

Dedue responded about three minutes later. **Are you certain?**

Annette did not hold any grudges when Mercedes told her of Dedue’s rejection. Mostly because she was too shocked over it to begin with, but both understood this sort of thing was relatively normal and Annette wasn’t the type to hold things against people. Neither of them were.

**We’d love to have you over!**

Dedue took a little longer than the last time to respond, as if contemplating her invitation. **May I have the address?**

It had turned out that Dedue’s current residence was actually close to where Ashe and Annette lived. 

“Hi there!” Ashe said when Dedue walked in through the doorway. 

“Dedue! It’s so nice to see you again!” Annette gave him a hug. Dedue and Mercedes locked gazes. He hesitantly wrapped one arm around Annie. “I was so worried when Mercedes told me you were in the hospital! Are you alright?”

Mercedes didn’t know what to do so she followed Annette’s lead in giving him a hug. She didn’t try to savor the hug or anything, but noted it felt really good to embrace him. 

“I am fine now,” he said. “It is good to see you again, Annette.”

“You should meet my boyfriend, Ashe, he--” the water boiled over. 

“Oh no!” Ashe sighed as water spilled out. “Forgive me!” He went back to work, leaving vegetables near the cutting board.

“Want me to help?” Annette asked.

“No!” Mercedes and Ashe said at the same time. Both knew that despite Annette’s best offers, she was something of an environmental hazard. Her experiments in the kitchen would end up with the fire department getting involved at best.

“If I may, I can help with the vegetables,” Dedue said.

“Don’t worry about it!” Mercedes said. “You’re our guest!

“It would please me greatly to help.”

“Oh, alright. But please take one of my macarons! I made several flavors. Please try the coconut or maybe lemon!” She lifted one of her pastry boxes for him. Their gazes met yet again. 

“Thank you, Mercedes,” he said, before taking a coconut one. It looked small, delicate in his hand before he took a bite. “This is delicious. Thank you for making these.” He saw Annette was intently observing them. “And thank you for inviting me.”

It didn’t take long for Ashe to pull Dedue into a conversation. Both men got along quite easily and at certain points, Mercedes could hear Ashe laughing alongside him.

“It seems our boyfriends get along just fine!”

“Annie!” Mercedes said. She didn’t want to repeat what her best friend had said out loud in case one of them could hear.

“It’s still _really_ obvious he likes you,” she said. Mercedes hadn’t noticed that, or at least, she had attempted to push back those sorts of thoughts. Dedue had other things on his mind. After all, his best friend was still hospitalized. But maybe this was just a brief moment of respite for him.

“Is it?” Mercedes asked.

“Yes! Trust me on this! I just can’t believe he’s back, and he still looks really cute!” Annette’s words sparked a small seed of doubt in Mercedes’s mind. She knew in the timeframe since she graduated until now she had gained weight. It was something that people would talk about, both behind her back and to her face. She recalled how on more than once occasion, a patient refused her treatment because she didn’t appear healthy. Mercedes knew better than anyone she was in good condition. All it took was a moment of self doubt to reflect on her face. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing, Annie. It’s fine!”

“Your face fell when I said he looked cute.”

Mercedes felt silly now. Of course she was happy with herself and her body. 

“It’s okay, you know,” Annie said. “Even I’ve gained some weight. Happens all the time!” Annette knew all about those stories and she knew her best friend well.

“But you grew taller, Annie!” It was true, though. Annie did gain weight as well, but it was...different for her. Mercedes knew that bodies reacted differently to physical changes, but it was difficult to not to feel self conscious from time to time. It was only human nature.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think any guy would turn you down for shallow reasons, especially since you’re one of the sweetest girls I know! If it’s right, it’s right.”

“Is that how you knew with Ashe?” Mercedes asked. She had known all the details, from the moment when Annette 

“Well...kinda? I might have been...kind of spontaneous! But it worked out!”

“My goodness, Dedue, that is great advice!” Ashe said in the background, with clear excitement in his voice. Annette giggled. “This is excellent!”

Minutes later, their incredibly tasty meals had been served and after a few games on Annette’s insistence, both Dedue and Mercedes took their leave.

“Thank you for inviting me,” he said when they reached the parking lot in front of their building.

“It was no problem at all! You seemed very much at home here.”

“It was good to see Annette again, and she has a partner she deserves.”

“I like him, too!”

There was a moment of silence between them. Dedue’s hand found her arm. His blue eyes were bright with excitement. Mercedes smiled at him. “I am...Thank you,” he said finishing. “Please drive safe.” He let go.

“You too!” She watched Dedue speed off. 

He seemed much more at ease now than he did when they met. But to Mercedes, what mattered most was not her personal happiness, but rather the others. She just hoped that Dedue’s happiness was tied to hers. 

  
***

Dimitri had recovered, at the cost of his eye, yet Dedue was grateful to see the closest thing he had to a brother would be alright. 

He couldn’t remember much of the accident, just that he had tried to shield his friend from the damage. He had lived with the fact that he had failed to protect him the way he should have been protected. 

But he had thanked the Gods that his life had been spared. 

Yet this incident had brought him with the one person he didn’t expect to see again. 

Seeing her again in the hospital bed had brought back all those feelings again, and it would be a lie if he denied seeing her in those moments before the world had faded. 

She was still the same, and only more beautiful. 

It reminded him that rejecting her was a difficult task, that once he told Dimitri he had called him a fool for it, but he couldn’t subject Mercedes to more pain. 

But he didn’t want to keep running from her. Or from her friends, who were also good people. Annette was a friend he had left behind in his own wreckage and she was still eager to be his friend, and Ashe had already given him his number. They had quite a lot in common and already they traded different recipes. He wondered if in time, if Ashe could also be seen as a brother to him.

“Mercedes,” he had flagged her down over her break, where she sat in the cafeteria, eating a heart shaped pastry. She offered him one. Mercedes was always offering him things so selflessly, and she had insisted. It felt nice to have another want to share with him. 

“You’re here! I heard your friend is getting discharged today.”

“He is.” He didn’t want to take up any more of her time, so he had to be blunt. “I wanted to ask you to have dinner with me.” It didn’t come out the way he intended, his face going flush. “Er, that is to say, I wanted to thank you...for helping.”

Mercedes beamed at him. “I’d love to! I’m not free tomorrow, but most certainly the day after that!”

He thought that would give him a decent amount of time to prepare and get the ingredients needed. He would also procure some lavenders to adorn his table. Perhaps he could give her some again.

“I can bake us something and we can watch a movie together! Just like old times.”

“You’d still like to do that?” he asked, his heart pounding. 

“Of course I do!”

“I would like to be your friend again, if you’ll let me!”

Their friendship had repaired itself again and even better this time. Despite his thoughts getting in the way, and knowing that people would sideglance him, Dedue wanted to be selfish, to give into his feelings and allow himself to be cared for. And maybe he wanted other friends as well. He wanted companionship, even though he was terrified of potential retribution or being outcasted from society.

Mercedes had an unpredictable schedule and it hadn’t lined up with him or her other friends, namely Annette,, he still made the most of their homemade dinners and movies.

She had invited him to her place for the movie not long after their friendly dinner together, which was near the hospital. She now lived alone in a cosy, yet surprisingly barebones apartment. He did get a good internal chuckle at a small plaque reading ”bless this house” hanging near her entryway in a comedic font. 

It already smelled like a bakery. 

“Our snacks are just about done,” she said. A menu was on the TV screen in the living room. 

“I got you these,” he said, bringing her lavenders. 

“Thank you so much!” She hugged him, which made him feel even more welcome. “Please! Make yourself at home!” She took out the pastries out of the oven while Dedue hung his coat and scarf near the front door closet.

Mercedes placed their meal and her pastries on the table in front of them. She then turned the lights off.

“This movie’s really old, but I like it!”

“Is this a ghost story?” he asked, glancing at the black and white images on the screen. It was a forested area and in the center was an ominous looking well. The flash of a faceless girl in a white dress was shown before she disappeared again. 

“You know me so well!” Mercedes said, giggling. “It’s about a group of teenagers who watch a spooky, cursed video and seven days later, they die.” She wiggled her fingers for effect.

“I see.”

“I promise this one isn’t as reliant on scares. It’s more so about the plot and the characters.”

“All of your movies have a focus on the plot and characters.”

Mercedes gave him a glance before hitting play. “I suppose so, Dedue! I can’t wait to get your opinion of it! Ashe and Annie don’t really like scary movies and you’re the only one of my friends who likes them.”

As the movie played, Dedue was reminded of that night they had kissed. It felt like an eternity then. She practically glowed even though the lights were off. Mercedes was beautiful to look at, but he had to remember she found his opinion valuable. 

After the main protagonist watched the cursed video, Mercedes’s phone buzzed. Both of them jumped in their seat. Dedue knew there was no such thing as a cursed video, especially if it took place in a movie, but the moment caused him to wonder if for a split second, if they were being haunted by a little girl in white.

“Oh! It’s just Annie!” Mercedes said, exhaling in relief. “Imagine if it wasn’t!” She saw him tensed. “Are you scared? It’s okay if you are! Even I was a little scared!”

Dedue shook his head. “N-no.”

The movie ended and the ghostly girl revealed her true intentions on destroying the world with her cursed tapes. 

“Why can’t the tapes simply be burned before they’re watched?” Dedue asked. 

“That’s a very good question! But we wouldn’t have the movie otherwise. And it’s implied the girl makes them with her powers!”

Dedue wasn’t one to suspend his disbelief, but he would try for this. 

“Did you like it?” she asked, her eyes expectant. 

“I did. I think you’re the only person who…”

“‘Who’ what?”

“You seem to want to know of my opinion.”

“Is that a bad thing? Of course I want to know!”

He shook his head. “Mercedes…” He had wanted to have that conversation, but Mercedes always stopped him at every turn. “It was always a good thing.” He never thought he would feel like this again. “Back then, when I hurt you...” Dedue had thought of the many ways this conversation could turn out.

“No, Dedue. It did hurt, but I understand why you did it. I always liked you for you.”

He could see it in her eyes, brimming with honesty. Dedue himself was an honest man, or at least considered himself as such, but he was clueless on what to say in these matters. “I like you in a similar way, too.” He took in a deep breath. “You’re fun, beautiful, thoughtful, I do not know what else to say. I am not a man of poetics, but I wish I were for you.”

“Oh, Dedue!” She hugged him, her hugs making him feel solidified, real, cared for. Her arms were very warm to the touch. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know what to say to that except I know I don’t look the same as I did when we met.”

“Neither do I,” he said, thinking of all of the scars around his face, around his body. 

Mercedes pulled back, her finger grazing the scar that cut in a straight, vertical line on his lips. He flinched, but not because it didn’t hurt. 

Their lips met. She was softer than he remembered, and he could taste the pastries she had made, the taste sweet. The feeling had given him butterflies, and he didn’t want to stop. Mercedes was the most wonderful woman he had ever met. And he didn’t want to let go of her. Not again. 

Mercedes broke the kiss. 

Instead of leaving, he remained rooted at the spot. 

Mercedes smiled, which broke some of the tension. 

“If you’re wondering, I shall not leave until it is my time to go.”

She clapped her hands. “Then would you like to stay for a double feature? There’s another ghost story I’d like to show you! I’ll let you pick this time.”

Dedue had a feeling he would stay for many ghost stories as he picked one that featured a menacing looking cat. 

She leaned into him and for the first time in a while, Dedue wondered if this was the closest he would feel to being loved by another person again. He hoped that would be the case, and this time, he would readily accept it.


End file.
